I know that there’s a lot of people right now that are diseased because they’re not feeling on path, they’re not feeling that they are authentically sharing their gifts, and I’m reflecting on a time on my experience where once again, everything showed up in the form of money. I didn’t have enough money; I couldn’t even afford toilet paper, that’s how broke I was.
That’s how upstream I was in my own current of well being and I was doing everything but honoring my true authentic gifts; which is questioning my heart wisdom in the form of what we would call couching, but at the time I was doing all these different things and it was the second time in my life where I considered suicide.
And I was deeply depressed; once again I reached up to a friend and I authentically shared what was going up for me, and a book appeared, another book showed up in my life; and I opened this book up and right in the center section of this book it posed three questions: “If you had six months left to live, where would you be, who would you be with, and what would you be doing?”
And I remember telling my friend that if I’d left the doctor’s office and the doctor told me I had six month left to live, I would feel relieved. That’s how exhausted I was with my life; so exhausted.
And he said “well, you’re not going to off yourself, are you? Because you actually know that that’s not really officially an out. You’re just going to recycle back all over again to do it all over again”. And I said “No, I’m not going to off myself”, and he said “So stay in that emotional place”.
Where would you be and what would you be doing. And I had such a profound realization that I would write a spirit memoir about my life, and I would coach. And in that moment I made a commitment to the divine and I made a commitment to my own heart, that I was going to honor that completely, and I sort of made an ultimatum because I was pissed off before that. I felt like, “Why would I not just be given the things that I was needing?” and I was actually taking a path of what I thought was service, but there was still a piece that was missing. And I wasn’t really honoring my authentic gifts and so I really stepped into that and within a month’s time everything shifted for me; and I was really having the courage to step into that and really to leap into that place of honoring my gifts and since then my life has been incredibly abundant.
So that’s a very important piece.