I was bulimic and anorexic for eight years of my life, and most of my thoughts were based on depression. I mean, I just focused on the negative; I hated my life, I hated my relationship with my parents, I hated my relationship with my dad, I used to fight with my mother all the time, literally fight with my mother all the time, and every single day I would just wake up hating my life.
And what ended up happening is obviously that revealed itself to me in my body and I didn’t want to eat, and I of course was throwing up my food and lost dramatic amounts of weight and it was just a really horrible, horrible experience as you can imagine, and my relationship to my body was, I don’t want to say it forever changed, but for a large period of my life was very, very delicate relationship that I had.
So for me it’s really important to share that these practices of where we place our attention is actually to prevent us for going down the path of disease, and a diseased body which can manifest in many different forms to literal depression, to of course the sickness and the illnesses that our body represent in the form of cancer and all of these other diseases.
For me it’s incredibly important to, while we are well, to continue to do the daily practices of placing our attention on the aspects of our life that are life affirming to us and that feel good to notice.
Love for self, love for myself. It’s an interesting subject, because when I speak about it like that, a lot of people go “God, that’s so selfish,” that is higher selfish because everything in my life is an extension of the relationship I have with myself.
So the greatest journey I’ve embarked on, and continue to embark on, is absolutely loving myself completely. And that’s an ongoing journey that continues every day.
I have an amazing collection of incredible people that I call my family, that are mirrors for me, incredible realizations about the areas that I’m not fully loving myself when I go into judgment of others, because I realize there’s no such thing as an other; it’s all an extension of me and the relationship that I have with myself and just coming to set your profound realization that it’s all me!
So love me, and I’ve really moved into, I would say, one of the most profound loves and courtships I’ve ever had with myself and with the divine. And I’m so incredibly blessed and the appreciation practices helped to cultivate that romance for me in a very powerful way.
I’m here in Hawaii’s Volcanoes National Park, and I'm just blown away; elevation: awesome. Elevation: epic. Really there are no words to describe the indescribable. And if you see off in the distance you can see steam, and there is an active volcano. This is said to be by the Hawaiians the home of the goddess Pele, who in my opinion is the most powerful creative force right now. Fiery, focused, constantly birthing something new, new land…
And I got to thinking what is it about our life that can cultivate the most powerful creative force imaginable for us in our heart’s desires. And I realize the profound simplicity of just being present. It's amazing how much we can rob ourselves and how costly it is when we're not present with our lives. So often times people are worried whether that be about money, future problems that don't even exist, or reflecting on their past, shitting on themselves. Should have done this differently with regret; just not being present.
So to me the ingredients for a recipe of profound creativity and enjoying the creative process is of course being present. And I also think that combined with that is gratitude and appreciation for what is. If you have those two ingredients I guarantee you will have a recipe for winning in the truest sense of the word.
Sending so much love to each and every single one of you from the big island of Hawaii. Until next time.
#InstituteofTrueWealth #Creativity #Fulfillionaire #GameofLife #Happiness #LifeIsHappeningNow #Presence #Priceless #SelfAcceptance #SelfLove #Winning
Filmed at the active volcano on the Big Island of Hawaii.
I know that there’s a lot of people right now that are diseased because they’re not feeling on path, they’re not feeling that they are authentically sharing their gifts, and I’m reflecting on a time on my experience where once again, everything showed up in the form of money. I didn’t have enough money; I couldn’t even afford toilet paper, that’s how broke I was.
That’s how upstream I was in my own current of well being and I was doing everything but honoring my true authentic gifts; which is questioning my heart wisdom in the form of what we would call couching, but at the time I was doing all these different things and it was the second time in my life where I considered suicide.
And I was deeply depressed; once again I reached up to a friend and I authentically shared what was going up for me, and a book appeared, another book showed up in my life; and I opened this book up and right in the center section of this book it posed three questions: “If you had six months left to live, where would you be, who would you be with, and what would you be doing?”
And I remember telling my friend that if I’d left the doctor’s office and the doctor told me I had six month left to live, I would feel relieved. That’s how exhausted I was with my life; so exhausted.
And he said “well, you’re not going to off yourself, are you? Because you actually know that that’s not really officially an out. You’re just going to recycle back all over again to do it all over again”. And I said “No, I’m not going to off myself”, and he said “So stay in that emotional place”.
Where would you be and what would you be doing. And I had such a profound realization that I would write a spirit memoir about my life, and I would coach. And in that moment I made a commitment to the divine and I made a commitment to my own heart, that I was going to honor that completely, and I sort of made an ultimatum because I was pissed off before that. I felt like, “Why would I not just be given the things that I was needing?” and I was actually taking a path of what I thought was service, but there was still a piece that was missing. And I wasn’t really honoring my authentic gifts and so I really stepped into that and within a month’s time everything shifted for me; and I was really having the courage to step into that and really to leap into that place of honoring my gifts and since then my life has been incredibly abundant.
So that’s a very important piece.
Part of forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts I’ve given myself; first and foremost forgiving myself for every single choice that I’ve ever made and I’ve done this for what I call “higher selfish reasons”, because when I’m in a state of forgiveness I felt that I’m aligned with my true nature, and I’ve come to realize that every time that I forgive I’m actually in the deepest form of appreciation for how my life has unfolded. And every time I recollect anything that’s happened in my life, I can see within that experience that was an absolute incredible gift that I never would have received if I wouldn’t had gone thru the experience exactly how it was.
So forgiveness for me has just been such an incredible catalyst for my happiness and I’ve reached into a whole other level of really realizing the divinity consciousness that we talk about so much in our community, which is really, really deeply understanding that everything in my life has happened for me and not to me.
And when I really come into that deep, deep knowing of that degree of support that is available, that the entire universe is conspiring for our well being and these incredible gifts that we call life experience is operating for our benefit so that we can become more intimate with our own hearts.
Forgiveness is a catalyst for me to really step into that deep realization. And of course on the other side of that is realizing there is really nothing to forgive when we realize that everything is actually happening for our benefit, and for a deeper experience of love and connection.
I’ve had just a profound realization realizing that even though I wanted to commit physical suicide, I had been committing emotional suicide so many days of my life, and basing my happiness on things outside of myself.
And what I realized in that experience and the deepest gift in all of it was that I had an opportunity to change my relationship to life. And what I ended up doing is just starting to re-route my thoughts and my attention to the gifts, to the abundance, to the love that I was experiencing on a daily basis.
And it felt like they were little things at the time, but I felt relief in my system from that I felt the relief from my depression. And I just noticed it felt like little energetic bread crumbs getting dropped for me and I kept feeling these insights, and incredible people coming into my experience. And things just started to get better and I started to feel relief and every day it’s a practice for me; I know that the most incredible tool I have is my perception, and the way that I look at life, and I know that the greatest gift that I have found is to appreciate and to love what is.
And I know that the more I do that, the more incredible abundance comes into my experience; to practice every single day I continue to remind myself of my priceless nature, I’ve had other experiences as a **** that have always tended to remind me of what’s truly valuable in my life and I’m always taught this through the energy of money, and the times that I’m experiencing the greatest lack or what I perceive as lack, I know that I just have gotten sloppy in the way that I’m looking at my life and I’ve forgotten what is truly valuable and all the love and connection that I do have.
So I would say that the greatest gift that I have given myself and I can continue to share with others is the importance of placing my attention on what is working in my life, placing my attention on what I appreciate, and the more that I’ve done that, the more that I attract just amazing abundance and appreciation, and love into my experience. That’s an ongoing practice for me.