I was bulimic and anorexic for eight years of my life, and most of my thoughts were based on depression. I mean, I just focused on the negative; I hated my life, I hated my relationship with my parents, I hated my relationship with my dad, I used to fight with my mother all the time, literally fight with my mother all the time, and every single day I would just wake up hating my life.
And what ended up happening is obviously that revealed itself to me in my body and I didn’t want to eat, and I of course was throwing up my food and lost dramatic amounts of weight and it was just a really horrible, horrible experience as you can imagine, and my relationship to my body was, I don’t want to say it forever changed, but for a large period of my life was very, very delicate relationship that I had.
So for me it’s really important to share that these practices of where we place our attention is actually to prevent us for going down the path of disease, and a diseased body which can manifest in many different forms to literal depression, to of course the sickness and the illnesses that our body represent in the form of cancer and all of these other diseases.
For me it’s incredibly important to, while we are well, to continue to do the daily practices of placing our attention on the aspects of our life that are life affirming to us and that feel good to notice.
Love for self, love for myself. It’s an interesting subject, because when I speak about it like that, a lot of people go “God, that’s so selfish,” that is higher selfish because everything in my life is an extension of the relationship I have with myself.
So the greatest journey I’ve embarked on, and continue to embark on, is absolutely loving myself completely. And that’s an ongoing journey that continues every day.
I have an amazing collection of incredible people that I call my family, that are mirrors for me, incredible realizations about the areas that I’m not fully loving myself when I go into judgment of others, because I realize there’s no such thing as an other; it’s all an extension of me and the relationship that I have with myself and just coming to set your profound realization that it’s all me!
So love me, and I’ve really moved into, I would say, one of the most profound loves and courtships I’ve ever had with myself and with the divine. And I’m so incredibly blessed and the appreciation practices helped to cultivate that romance for me in a very powerful way.
After I found out that my parents had evaded taxes, and that they were supposed to go to the court system and they had told me that they’d made a vow; that they were going to kill themselves and were never going to go under the court system or pay their taxes, I heard a really incredible conversation that my dad was having with my boyfriend at the time and my boyfriend was saying to my dad “How can you be so incredibly selfish, and mess Laura up for the rest of her life, commit suicide and leave her?”
And my dad said, “Who’s more selfish? Us for wanting to end our lives the way that we want to end our lives and leave this planet when we want to leave this planet or her for wanting us to stay here when we don’t want to be here any longer?”
I felt like the opportunity is about true acceptance and about really being present with someone and their experience, and honoring their experience exactly how it’s unfolding.
I felt like it’s a dance to definitely encourage without going into convincing to be really attuned to where someone is in their life experience, and for some people it may absolutely be the time for them to transition and for them to let go; and so the greatest gift you can give to a loved one is to be present and to be available for them.
To have their experience exactly how their having their experience; there is no grater gift than to love someone exactly where they are.
Everything you DO will bear the mark of the consciousness in which you do it. NO amount of action can replace misaligned consciousness. You can never create the results that are intrinsically valuable to you (love, joy, ease and abundance) if the majority of your actions are motivated by fear. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Even though the aspect of repeated action to create a different result is in and of itself “insane”, so is the notion that DOING something different will create a different outcome.
Your actions are guided by your emotions, which are informed by your thoughts. In order to move in the direction of Sanity, and create sustainable desired results, you must begin to change the way you are thinking and BEING. When you focus on the aspects of your BEING that you are grateful for and begin to celebrate and appreciate them, this will begin to foster feelings that are based in appreciation. This renewed focus will inevitably replace your sense of struggle and fear based actions with those of inspiration.
When you realize that there is nothing more valuable to you than how you feel, and you begin to align with your essential standards. This allows you shift your creative process from one of efforting to an experience of allowing, inspired action and authentic success.