Tag Archives forsuicide

Honoring Your Gifts

Video Transcription

I know that there’s a lot of people right now that are diseased because they’re not feeling on path, they’re not feeling that they are authentically sharing their gifts, and I’m reflecting on a time on my experience where once again, everything showed up in the form of money. I didn’t have enough money; I couldn’t even afford toilet paper, that’s how broke I was.

That’s how upstream I was in my own current of well being and I was doing everything but honoring my true authentic gifts; which is questioning my heart wisdom in the form of what we would call couching, but at the time I was doing all these different things and it was the second time in my life where I considered suicide.

And I was deeply depressed; once again I reached up to a friend and I authentically shared what was going up for me, and a book appeared, another book showed up in my life; and I opened this book up and right in the center section of this book it posed three questions: “If you had six months left to live, where would you be, who would you be with, and what would you be doing?”

And I remember telling my friend that if I’d left the doctor’s office and the doctor told me I had six month left to live, I would feel relieved. That’s how exhausted I was with my life; so exhausted.

And he said “well, you’re not going to off yourself, are you? Because you actually know that that’s not really officially an out. You’re just going to recycle back all over again to do it all over again”. And I said “No, I’m not going to off myself”, and he said “So stay in that emotional place”.

Where would you be and what would you be doing. And I had such a profound realization that I would write a spirit memoir about my life, and I would coach. And in that moment I made a commitment to the divine and I made a commitment to my own heart, that I was going to honor that completely, and I sort of made an ultimatum because I was pissed off before that. I felt like, “Why would I not just be given the things that I was needing?” and I was actually taking a path of what I thought was service, but there was still a piece that was missing. And I wasn’t really honoring my authentic gifts and so I really stepped into that and within a month’s time everything shifted for me; and I was really having the courage to step into that and really to leap into that place of honoring my gifts and since then my life has been incredibly abundant.

So that’s a very important piece.

Tragedy to Triumph

Video Transcription

Hey everyone, it’s Laura, Institute of True Wealth... What is True Wealth? It’s a very great question; it's one that I sat with most of my life. Having lost both of my parents to a dual suicide over their confusion over money, and losing millions of dollars I nearly took my life because I had assigned my worth, and my value, and my security, and my freedom, and my happiness to money. And I realize now that the purpose to all of that pain as is the case with most of our hardships and our challenges, is really a gift to put us intimately in touch with the source of our true freedom, and happiness, and security. 

So I have renegotiated my terms and have chosen to experience true wealth. And the essence of true wealth is having a life that is based in experience, based in love, based in joy, based on connection, which permeates all categories and sectors of our life; relationships, career, doing work that we love, being in service to others, sharing our gifts, money, which means that we are empowered in our relationship with money; that money is not governing our choices, but rather is a reflection and appreciation currency for our divine gifts, and for our service. As well as an offering to other people's gifts and services.

So true wealth is having that experience of joy, and freedom, and love, and connection, and allowing that to inform our relationships; career, health and money.

I just want to remind everybody that as far as I know we only get one go at this. I know that suicide rates are at an all time high; every 40 seconds someone is taking their life on the planet. And money is the number one cause of stress. So many people are awakening at this time; perhaps you’re one of those people to realize their self worth beyond their net worth. To realize that when we go within we can’t never go without. Regardless of if you've lost millions of dollars, or your home, or a relationship, or your health, I want to empower each and every single one of you that are listening to my words right now to remember that god, source, spirit, universe is flowing through you as you. You are an incredible, empowered powerful being. And your power originates in your perceptions, and your beliefs, and your thoughts. And whatever you believe is possible can become your reality.

Change occurs at the speed of thoughts, so I just want to remind everybody if you're feeling lost, powerless, depressed, confused, frustrated, it's not the end; things are not falling apart, they're falling together; but you’re co-creator in your experience and so in this moments I invite you to go within, to quiet the egoic voice that wants to tell you that it's hopeless, and it's over, and there's nothing left to live for, that this is the point. This is the inception point for your greatest realizations if you so choose. And if you choose to go into that darkness, and if you choose to go into that confusion, and if you choose to meet that frustration with acceptance and with love, there will be an opening. And within that opening you will be able to see a clear vision; you’ll get a sense and maybe the vision isn't going to contain all of the details, but you’ll get a glimpse of what's possible for you in your life. And I want you to know that if I could survive the dual suicide of my parents, and my own bout with suicide, and losing millions of dollars in the stock market, and facing foreclosure, and being in an abusive relationship, and all of the drama that you could possibly imagine; I if I experience that and found my way through to the other side of the life of true wealth, you can do it.

So this video is here to say that if you're looking for a sign, if you're looking for inspiration, to love yourself, to inform your life from an authentic place to share your gifts, and to experience what I call being a “fulfillionaire”, this is your sign. 

I'm sending so much love to you, you're not alone. You're exactly where you need to be in your journey, in your process. And I bow to you, I thank you, I honor you for your courage, for your strength; I know it's not easy, but it's a lot easier to be authentic and true to yourself than to live a lie, and to live an experience that's no longer serving you.

Please reach out if there's any way that I can support you. I want you to know that you're not alone, I'm here for you and I love you; I do. I love you, and you’re loved, so, until next time. Big kiss and hug from Berlin.

The Gift of My Parents Suicide

Gift of my Parents Suicide

I am guessing many, who read this, will consider a tribute to suicide “crazy”. For the thought of gratitude, amidst the sorrow that most relate with suicide is, in the truest sense of the word, unreasonable. But I am not here to reason with anyone. Instead I offer my transparency and my unwavering knowing, that ALL that has come to pass in my life has happened for me and not to me and is truly perfect.

Despite past remnants of my delusional ego that have wanted to scream otherwise, I can now recognize zero degrees of separation in all that has unfolded in my life. I realize, in what I call my “20/20 Real-Eyes-ations”, that my cocoon of circumstances were created as a Divine ploy for me to become a butterfly. With all things being connected,my story and my parents story, becomes your story and our collective story. It is intended as a “wake up” call- an instigator for awareness, trans-formative realizations and ultimate flight – a potent reflection of our collective cocoon of circumstances that is seeking to transform us into butterflies.

Within my Real-Eyes-ations lives authentic gratitude on a soulular level for all that has happened for me in my life.


It takes 3 to have a child. My parents “ushered” me in, along with my Free Will to be here, but behind the scenes there was a Universal plot. A Divine Drama if you will, with “characters” that were perfectly cast to fulfill their roles, of which my parents were worthy of an “academy award” for their performances. It is apparent to me that the alchemical blend of their choices, were the perfect recipe for my soul to recognize itself. From this awareness, I am able to see and fulfill my life’s mission, in the only variable that is me.

All of this, I believe has been orchestrated by the Divine Conspiracy of which I am an accomplice, to promote the remembrance of my true essence and value and facilitate this awareness in others. You too are an accomplice to this Divine Conspiracy ~ for your eyes have graced these words, intimately bound by the fabric of our co-creative web.


On a day that is traditionally filled with celebration and best-case scenarios, my parents were imagining worst-case scenario. At age 21 and 22, they made a morbid vow to evade taxes and to decide to kill themselves if they ever got caught. Where there is typically a Union of love-based promises, my parents decided to divorce from their own hearts and create a survival strategy to assure that they could afford to take care of an unexpected me.


30 years later, my parents lay down next to each other in a tent in the wilderness, near a small Colorado mountain town. The first signs of winter had dusted the ground and there was a definite chill in the air. As my parents crawled into their tent, they were not alone. They had with them all of the necessary ingredients for a recipe of everlasting sleep: Mental anguish and despair over money, an impenetrable will and emotional bond, a bottle of Vodka and sleeping pills,a Dr. Kevorkian book on How To Die, a CD player and Celtic music, a threatening note to anyone who attempted to resuscitate them and a goodbye letter to me.

9 months later, their bodies were found. I am told that they were in their favorite position, my father on his back – my mother curled up on his left side. I suspect they both checked out way before their bodies did – unable to stay connected within such a disconnected choice. I can not even begin to imagine what they went through knowing this would be the last time they would be in each others arms and alive in their bodies. With my mother’s head on my father’s chest, I can feel so deeply, how she must have felt, realizing the finality of their choice, when she listened to my father’s heart… beat slow to silent.


Mom and dad, I am humbled to be honoring you, as I begin to deliver the profound teaching of your suicide over money to the masses. Your choice is the ultimate zeitgeist of our time with so many millions ending their lives and committing emotional suicide over money, every day. It is in reverence to your sacrifice that I am in devotion to supporting the collective consciousness to shift their fundamentally flawed relationship to money. Thank you for delivering to me the heart wisdom to support people to begin to create lives that are truly valuable to themselves and others and to realize their birthright of love, joy, ease and grace. Your sacrifice will fulfill its role of catalyzing a profound shift on this planet of a remembrance of our true value and Self worth beyond our net worth.

Laura Fredrickson © 2014