Hey beloveds, it’s Laura Fredrickson with the Institute of True Wealth here in Tulum, Mexico, and I wanted to talk about an epidemic that is really running rampant right now, and it's emotional epidemic. It's based within relationships and what I referred to as being in relationship with potential.
I'm working with a lot of couples, a lot of people right now that are actually leaving their relationships; whether that be in a divorce, any type of a separation because that person that they've been with is not been fulfilling them, and the primary aspect of their focus has been on what they can change about that person, and what they can fix.
So I just want to remind everybody that our happiness and our fulfillment is a choice. It’s something that we experience from the inside out, not the outside in. Our partners cannot make us happy; we are responsible for that choice.
I also want to remind everyone that our relationships are merely reflections of the relationship we have with ourselves. So I just invite you if you are in a relationship to create a list of the things that irritate you about your partner. Focus for just a moment, it’s a powerful exercise if done so with deliberate intention; focus on what is lacking in the relationship and create a list of that; create a “no column” of that. And then I invite you to shift your attention to what it is you prefer in that relationship. So you're going to focus on what it is you prefer to experience. That's step one.
Step two is you're going to actually notice whatever those qualities are you going to reflect back to yourself, and you want to make sure that you're actually embodying those qualities the majority of the time. This isn’t about being perfect, but once again, you need to be embodying those in your own life for the most part. Something miraculous will happen when you do that.
Now remember, it takes about 30 days for outward manifestation and new evidence to appear. But once you actually start noticing the things that you’re wanting to experience in your relationship and you bring that back to yourself, I invite you to start giving yourself the very thing that you're wanting your partner to give you. Something magical as I mentioned before will happen, and you'll start to notice that they're actually starting to embody those characteristics as well.
As the late Wayne Dyer said “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. So I want to welcome everybody to do that. The number one reason you would do that is it’s just going to feel better, and there's nothing more valuable to us than how we feel.
Sending love from sunny, beautiful Mexico, and I hope you have an amazing day. Until next time.
After I found out that my parents had evaded taxes, and that they were supposed to go to the court system and they had told me that they’d made a vow; that they were going to kill themselves and were never going to go under the court system or pay their taxes, I heard a really incredible conversation that my dad was having with my boyfriend at the time and my boyfriend was saying to my dad “How can you be so incredibly selfish, and mess Laura up for the rest of her life, commit suicide and leave her?”
And my dad said, “Who’s more selfish? Us for wanting to end our lives the way that we want to end our lives and leave this planet when we want to leave this planet or her for wanting us to stay here when we don’t want to be here any longer?”
I felt like the opportunity is about true acceptance and about really being present with someone and their experience, and honoring their experience exactly how it’s unfolding.
I felt like it’s a dance to definitely encourage without going into convincing to be really attuned to where someone is in their life experience, and for some people it may absolutely be the time for them to transition and for them to let go; and so the greatest gift you can give to a loved one is to be present and to be available for them.
To have their experience exactly how their having their experience; there is no grater gift than to love someone exactly where they are.
I was bulimic and anorexic for eight years of my life, and most of my thoughts were based on depression. I mean, I just focused on the negative; I hated my life, I hated my relationship with my parents, I hated my relationship with my dad, I used to fight with my mother all the time, literally fight with my mother all the time, and every single day I would just wake up hating my life.
And what ended up happening is obviously that revealed itself to me in my body and I didn’t want to eat, and I of course was throwing up my food and lost dramatic amounts of weight and it was just a really horrible, horrible experience as you can imagine, and my relationship to my body was, I don’t want to say it forever changed, but for a large period of my life was very, very delicate relationship that I had.
So for me it’s really important to share that these practices of where we place our attention is actually to prevent us for going down the path of disease, and a diseased body which can manifest in many different forms to literal depression, to of course the sickness and the illnesses that our body represent in the form of cancer and all of these other diseases.
For me it’s incredibly important to, while we are well, to continue to do the daily practices of placing our attention on the aspects of our life that are life affirming to us and that feel good to notice.
Love for self, love for myself. It’s an interesting subject, because when I speak about it like that, a lot of people go “God, that’s so selfish,” that is higher selfish because everything in my life is an extension of the relationship I have with myself.
So the greatest journey I’ve embarked on, and continue to embark on, is absolutely loving myself completely. And that’s an ongoing journey that continues every day.
I have an amazing collection of incredible people that I call my family, that are mirrors for me, incredible realizations about the areas that I’m not fully loving myself when I go into judgment of others, because I realize there’s no such thing as an other; it’s all an extension of me and the relationship that I have with myself and just coming to set your profound realization that it’s all me!
So love me, and I’ve really moved into, I would say, one of the most profound loves and courtships I’ve ever had with myself and with the divine. And I’m so incredibly blessed and the appreciation practices helped to cultivate that romance for me in a very powerful way.
I’ve had just a profound realization realizing that even though I wanted to commit physical suicide, I had been committing emotional suicide so many days of my life, and basing my happiness on things outside of myself.
And what I realized in that experience and the deepest gift in all of it was that I had an opportunity to change my relationship to life. And what I ended up doing is just starting to re-route my thoughts and my attention to the gifts, to the abundance, to the love that I was experiencing on a daily basis.
And it felt like they were little things at the time, but I felt relief in my system from that I felt the relief from my depression. And I just noticed it felt like little energetic bread crumbs getting dropped for me and I kept feeling these insights, and incredible people coming into my experience. And things just started to get better and I started to feel relief and every day it’s a practice for me; I know that the most incredible tool I have is my perception, and the way that I look at life, and I know that the greatest gift that I have found is to appreciate and to love what is.
And I know that the more I do that, the more incredible abundance comes into my experience; to practice every single day I continue to remind myself of my priceless nature, I’ve had other experiences as a **** that have always tended to remind me of what’s truly valuable in my life and I’m always taught this through the energy of money, and the times that I’m experiencing the greatest lack or what I perceive as lack, I know that I just have gotten sloppy in the way that I’m looking at my life and I’ve forgotten what is truly valuable and all the love and connection that I do have.
So I would say that the greatest gift that I have given myself and I can continue to share with others is the importance of placing my attention on what is working in my life, placing my attention on what I appreciate, and the more that I’ve done that, the more that I attract just amazing abundance and appreciation, and love into my experience. That’s an ongoing practice for me.
Optimism to me is, once again, that deliberate choice to utilize my greatest commodity, my attention, and my mind, and my perception to choose to notice what is good.
To choose to be angel’s advocate for my life, to choose to envision best case scenario instead of worst case scenario, and to just really focus my attention knowing that what I attend to is going to expand in my experience.
To know that thru free will I have the opportunity to decide, to notice what’s working and to notice what feels good.
And that power of optimism has an incredible aura ****for me; incredible. It’s been amazing, it’s the key to why my dreams are my reality right now; absolutely.
I know that there’s a lot of people right now that are diseased because they’re not feeling on path, they’re not feeling that they are authentically sharing their gifts, and I’m reflecting on a time on my experience where once again, everything showed up in the form of money. I didn’t have enough money; I couldn’t even afford toilet paper, that’s how broke I was.
That’s how upstream I was in my own current of well being and I was doing everything but honoring my true authentic gifts; which is questioning my heart wisdom in the form of what we would call couching, but at the time I was doing all these different things and it was the second time in my life where I considered suicide.
And I was deeply depressed; once again I reached up to a friend and I authentically shared what was going up for me, and a book appeared, another book showed up in my life; and I opened this book up and right in the center section of this book it posed three questions: “If you had six months left to live, where would you be, who would you be with, and what would you be doing?”
And I remember telling my friend that if I’d left the doctor’s office and the doctor told me I had six month left to live, I would feel relieved. That’s how exhausted I was with my life; so exhausted.
And he said “well, you’re not going to off yourself, are you? Because you actually know that that’s not really officially an out. You’re just going to recycle back all over again to do it all over again”. And I said “No, I’m not going to off myself”, and he said “So stay in that emotional place”.
Where would you be and what would you be doing. And I had such a profound realization that I would write a spirit memoir about my life, and I would coach. And in that moment I made a commitment to the divine and I made a commitment to my own heart, that I was going to honor that completely, and I sort of made an ultimatum because I was pissed off before that. I felt like, “Why would I not just be given the things that I was needing?” and I was actually taking a path of what I thought was service, but there was still a piece that was missing. And I wasn’t really honoring my authentic gifts and so I really stepped into that and within a month’s time everything shifted for me; and I was really having the courage to step into that and really to leap into that place of honoring my gifts and since then my life has been incredibly abundant.
So that’s a very important piece.
Part of forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts I’ve given myself; first and foremost forgiving myself for every single choice that I’ve ever made and I’ve done this for what I call “higher selfish reasons”, because when I’m in a state of forgiveness I felt that I’m aligned with my true nature, and I’ve come to realize that every time that I forgive I’m actually in the deepest form of appreciation for how my life has unfolded. And every time I recollect anything that’s happened in my life, I can see within that experience that was an absolute incredible gift that I never would have received if I wouldn’t had gone thru the experience exactly how it was.
So forgiveness for me has just been such an incredible catalyst for my happiness and I’ve reached into a whole other level of really realizing the divinity consciousness that we talk about so much in our community, which is really, really deeply understanding that everything in my life has happened for me and not to me.
And when I really come into that deep, deep knowing of that degree of support that is available, that the entire universe is conspiring for our well being and these incredible gifts that we call life experience is operating for our benefit so that we can become more intimate with our own hearts.
Forgiveness is a catalyst for me to really step into that deep realization. And of course on the other side of that is realizing there is really nothing to forgive when we realize that everything is actually happening for our benefit, and for a deeper experience of love and connection.
Divine to me with all things being energy, is an incredible life giving energy that is breathing me and beating my heart, and it is managing all the incredible sounds that I hear right now and this incredible life.
So when I speak of divine I’m just really referring to that life giving benevolent energy that is available to all of us. And there are many labels to put on it: source, great mystery, infinite intelligence, but it’s a benevolent life giving energy that intends our well being.
And I know this, and I’m assured of this because I’ve been ****every single day of my life since I’ve been on the planet, so I’m constantly reminding myself of this incredible energy that I refer to as “The Divine”.
Hey everyone, it’s Laura Fredrickson of the Institute of True Wealth, and I want to give you an important absolutely vital reminder that it is so incredibly valuable that you honor yourself, that you be you.
We’re at time of authentic abundance; the actual health well being of our planet is so reliant on our ability to honor our own gifts, talents, abilities, and to be expressing that. If you are not expressing that, and you’re feeling like you are just flat lining in your life and you don’t have energy and enthusiasm, I guarantee it’s because there’s an incredibly talented gifted aspect of you, an area that you’re wanting to share your gifts, talents, abilities and love with others and you are not doing that; and it’s actually holding you down.
And when you can start to just share that little by little, don’t compare yourself to others; comparison is the most horrible emotional cancer you can possibly give to yourself. You have to actually start from a place of “What is it that I can do? What is it that is priceless about me? What’s invaluable about me?” return to the essence of who you are.
Reallocate your focus from “What am I doing? What can I do to be a benefit?” and come back to who you’re being. Because it’s about being the change you wish to see in the world. It’s not about doing the change you wish to see in the world.
One of my favorite quotes by Howard Thurmanis “Don’t ask what the world needs to come alive; ask what you need to come alive and then go do that”. Because what the world needs is for each and every single one of us to be alive, and the best way for us to be alive is to just honor and share the essence of who we truly are. And there is that in you, so if there’s any part of you that wonders or doubts “I don’t really have any talents, I don’t really have anything to share”, it’s absolutely a lie, you are hallucinating. It’s the simple act of just being present, and just following your heart. When you follow your heart and you share from that place abundance abounds.
We are intended to actually be doing what comes easiest to us and your path and your experience actually is what is in form your unique gifts, characters and abilities. So I invite you to just really choose that, it starts with putting this stuff on the ground and saying “You know what? I decide from now on to honor my gifts”.
And when you choose that, the universe conspires and starts to drop energetic bread crumbs in your path, and you start to realize and remember ways in which you can share your gifts, ways in which you can give back. And you just start to honor that little by little. And it makes such an effect and such a change.
So I want to honor you as a fellow traveler, I know how difficult it is sometimes to rise to the occasion, sometimes we get caught up and sort of shaking hands of mediocrity, but I invite you to consider this question: “If you knew you had it all, if you knew that you are absolutely already perfect and whole (because the universe doesn’t make mistakes, you are here for a reason), what would you do then?”
So get rid of having to decide, having to find out “I need this”, what I call the “if then, when them” syndrome, if I can do this, if I get this degree then I can just honor what you have now and move forward from that place. You’ll be amazed at how much better it feels and you’re attracting based on how you feel, so winning combination…
Much love, until next time.